I'm sitting here watching TV while Al drives to Christchurch and back for work and Peanut is kicking me like crazy.. I love it.. to know I have a life growing inside me..
I'm a bit torn though.. one of my friends who was due three days after me had a miscarriage at 22 weeks.. It's still playing on my mind.. I feel so sorry for her and her partner.. I couldn't imagine having to go through what they have to.
26 weeks is the next milestone. I have my diabetes test on Monday and midwife appt on Wednesday. We started antenatal classes last week.. I can't remember what our homework was lol!
Saturday, April 14, 2012
Sunday, February 26, 2012
A lot of catching up to do!
Oooops.. sorry to those who still read this blog.. I don't know how many do... if any!
A quick catch up
So after the specialist visit it was decided that the best course of action is to use a donor egg next round seeing as though we didn't lose our last govt funded round.
It would be an approx 4 year wait for an anonymous donor.. (that was a depressing thought!) or I could arrange my own egg donor.. ideal one would be someone younger than me and potentially from the same gene pool.. so I had a chat to my sister.
After a bit of thought she agreed to by our egg donor but wanted to wait for a year until her kids were a bit older.. that was fine by me.. I welcomed having a year off from tracking my ovulation and injections and highs and lows of it all.
So we started living our lives again, back how we used to before we realised we needed to go through IVF.. it was fun..
My periods had been a bit screwed up since IVF and in November I didn't think much about being late.. it wasn't until I was getting ready for work one morning, just recovering from a bit of a cold and cough, that I coughed so much I nearly puked.. I thought it was a bit strange..
On the way to work I stopped by the supermarket and thought.. "bugger it.. I will buy another pregnancy test.. waste another $10".. got to work.. went to the loo.. looked at the stick change to two blue lines..
Holy shit!!
I rang Allan and told him to come and see me as soon as possible.. When he got to my work I said nothing and showed him the stick.. then I cried.. we were finally going to be parents!!
I rang Repromed and let them know what was happening.. they ordered a 7 week ultrasound scan to confirm the heartbeat and also a blood test to check the levels.
Seeing that heartbeat on the screen was AMAZING.. I squeezed Al's hand tightly and cried..
I am now 18 w and 5 days and loving every minute of being pregnant.. not any real morning sickness.. I felt a bit queasy at times, but it soon passed. I have been so so very tired but that seems to have finally passed too.. I started feeling movement dead on 15 weeks and felt it ever since..
Our 20 week scan is on 9.30 am on March 2 and yes we will be finding out what we are having as long as Peanut lets us. If he/she doesn't I will be getting another scan!
Oh happy days!!
A quick catch up
So after the specialist visit it was decided that the best course of action is to use a donor egg next round seeing as though we didn't lose our last govt funded round.
It would be an approx 4 year wait for an anonymous donor.. (that was a depressing thought!) or I could arrange my own egg donor.. ideal one would be someone younger than me and potentially from the same gene pool.. so I had a chat to my sister.
After a bit of thought she agreed to by our egg donor but wanted to wait for a year until her kids were a bit older.. that was fine by me.. I welcomed having a year off from tracking my ovulation and injections and highs and lows of it all.
So we started living our lives again, back how we used to before we realised we needed to go through IVF.. it was fun..
My periods had been a bit screwed up since IVF and in November I didn't think much about being late.. it wasn't until I was getting ready for work one morning, just recovering from a bit of a cold and cough, that I coughed so much I nearly puked.. I thought it was a bit strange..
On the way to work I stopped by the supermarket and thought.. "bugger it.. I will buy another pregnancy test.. waste another $10".. got to work.. went to the loo.. looked at the stick change to two blue lines..
Holy shit!!
I rang Allan and told him to come and see me as soon as possible.. When he got to my work I said nothing and showed him the stick.. then I cried.. we were finally going to be parents!!
I rang Repromed and let them know what was happening.. they ordered a 7 week ultrasound scan to confirm the heartbeat and also a blood test to check the levels.
Seeing that heartbeat on the screen was AMAZING.. I squeezed Al's hand tightly and cried..
I am now 18 w and 5 days and loving every minute of being pregnant.. not any real morning sickness.. I felt a bit queasy at times, but it soon passed. I have been so so very tired but that seems to have finally passed too.. I started feeling movement dead on 15 weeks and felt it ever since..
Our 20 week scan is on 9.30 am on March 2 and yes we will be finding out what we are having as long as Peanut lets us. If he/she doesn't I will be getting another scan!
Oh happy days!!
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Update on IVF round 3
Most of you heard from me last week after my last round of IVF had been cancelled due to poor response. Sorry I didn't text everyone.. I hope this blog makes up for it.
So yes, another failed round.. When I had my scan on Monday I only had one follicle on my right side that was doing any good.. scan on Friday showed the same result and it was decided that we cancel this round to keep the govt funding for another round in the future...
The future.. I've spent a lot of time since Friday thinking about it..
My first thought was that I don't want to go through another round.. it's more time off work, more injections, more mood swings, more stress, more emotion that I don't need. Allan feels the same too.. He is mindful about how much of a toll it's taking on me, and us as a couple.. He always said if this round wasn't successful then we would look at adoption straight away..
I've just been checking out adoption.org.nz and I'm a bit overwhelmed by that too! There is no waiting list, but you could sit waiting for a birth mother to pick you forever.. some couples get picked straight away.. some never do.. I hate uncertainty..
Then there is donor eggs and sperm.. but I am undecided about all that too...
Someone suggested being a foster parent.. again, I would need to do some research but I don't think it's ideal for us..
We have a meeting with the IVF specialist late next month so I think the best course of action is to enjoy life for a minute and deal with it then..
So yes, another failed round.. When I had my scan on Monday I only had one follicle on my right side that was doing any good.. scan on Friday showed the same result and it was decided that we cancel this round to keep the govt funding for another round in the future...
The future.. I've spent a lot of time since Friday thinking about it..
My first thought was that I don't want to go through another round.. it's more time off work, more injections, more mood swings, more stress, more emotion that I don't need. Allan feels the same too.. He is mindful about how much of a toll it's taking on me, and us as a couple.. He always said if this round wasn't successful then we would look at adoption straight away..
I've just been checking out adoption.org.nz and I'm a bit overwhelmed by that too! There is no waiting list, but you could sit waiting for a birth mother to pick you forever.. some couples get picked straight away.. some never do.. I hate uncertainty..
Then there is donor eggs and sperm.. but I am undecided about all that too...
Someone suggested being a foster parent.. again, I would need to do some research but I don't think it's ideal for us..
We have a meeting with the IVF specialist late next month so I think the best course of action is to enjoy life for a minute and deal with it then..
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
my state of mind
Hey all
So the last couple of weeks I have been feeling uneasy about the next round of my IVF. I don't know whether it's because it's our last shot (if we don't win lotto) and I am very nervous it wont work, or whether there is something at the back of my mind that's just not sitting right..
I've decided to delay the next cycle for a few months.. I thought long and hard about it today. I thought about the draining emotion of the cycle, the two week wait and the disappointment.. I just don't know if I can do that all again so soon after the second failure.
I know I am supposed to be positive, but I'm just not feeling that way. It's hard to explain.. I just know in my heart it's right to postpone the last cycle a couple of months.
So the last couple of weeks I have been feeling uneasy about the next round of my IVF. I don't know whether it's because it's our last shot (if we don't win lotto) and I am very nervous it wont work, or whether there is something at the back of my mind that's just not sitting right..
I've decided to delay the next cycle for a few months.. I thought long and hard about it today. I thought about the draining emotion of the cycle, the two week wait and the disappointment.. I just don't know if I can do that all again so soon after the second failure.
I know I am supposed to be positive, but I'm just not feeling that way. It's hard to explain.. I just know in my heart it's right to postpone the last cycle a couple of months.
Saturday, February 26, 2011
We are still a go..
Hey all my followers
My heart goes out to all affected by the Christchurch Earthquake. It is absolutely devastating and so very very sad.
I got AF dead on time on Thursday but was in Blenheim until the afternoon so I called the nurses at Repromed on Friday. I had no idea whether they would answer or if they were even still operating after the quake. Their answering machine said that they were closed due to the earthquake, but the nurses were still working and wanted to assure all patients that the embryos were all safe.
I left a message for the nurses and asked them to call me back about potentially postponing the cycle and that I hoped everyone was ok.
I got a phone call back and we are still all on track.. that's good news..
Love to all in Christchurch.. xxx
My heart goes out to all affected by the Christchurch Earthquake. It is absolutely devastating and so very very sad.
I got AF dead on time on Thursday but was in Blenheim until the afternoon so I called the nurses at Repromed on Friday. I had no idea whether they would answer or if they were even still operating after the quake. Their answering machine said that they were closed due to the earthquake, but the nurses were still working and wanted to assure all patients that the embryos were all safe.
I left a message for the nurses and asked them to call me back about potentially postponing the cycle and that I hoped everyone was ok.
I got a phone call back and we are still all on track.. that's good news..
Love to all in Christchurch.. xxx
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
The next step
So no point in dwelling about what could have been.. I'm back on the horse.. will be going back to the gym and working towards the next cycle.
We will be doing a Flare cycle starting at the end of March. I will still be on the highest dose of drugs because of my poor response in the past two cycles.. but lets hope the third time is a charm!
So it looks like Mid Apr I will be down in Christchurch for egg collection and fresh (for the lack of a better word lol) transfer of one embryo.
We will be hoping for more than one Embie of course.. the doc told me that after collection we come out with three or more embies and the fresh transfer doesn't work, then I will be able to have two frozen embies back in so that's exciting..
Well kids.. are you ready for the up part of this journey? I think of it like a roller coaster.. its going to be a long steep ride to the top.. lets hope when we get there, we don't go straight back down again.
We will be doing a Flare cycle starting at the end of March. I will still be on the highest dose of drugs because of my poor response in the past two cycles.. but lets hope the third time is a charm!
So it looks like Mid Apr I will be down in Christchurch for egg collection and fresh (for the lack of a better word lol) transfer of one embryo.
We will be hoping for more than one Embie of course.. the doc told me that after collection we come out with three or more embies and the fresh transfer doesn't work, then I will be able to have two frozen embies back in so that's exciting..
Well kids.. are you ready for the up part of this journey? I think of it like a roller coaster.. its going to be a long steep ride to the top.. lets hope when we get there, we don't go straight back down again.
Sunday, January 30, 2011
I'm ok
Thank you so much for your thoughts, love and support. I know it's an awful situation, and no one can make it any better.. but I appreciate the texts & messages.. thank you xxx
Friday was absolutely awful at work.. I couldn't wait to get home. I haven't cried for a while now..
I haven't had bloods done yet, due to the Medlab being closed. They will have to wait until Tuesday. I am also seeing the specialist on Tuesday to talk about our next course of action. It was lucky they had a cancellation so we could see him so soon. And my very kind boss has given me Tuesday off too so I am half way through an extra long weekend.
So there is no doubt that I am not pregnant. I bought a pee test today and it came back as negative. So I decided I would have a wine while my hubby is out working until 1 am with a bustrip..
I will report back after the visit with the specialist.
Friday was absolutely awful at work.. I couldn't wait to get home. I haven't cried for a while now..
I haven't had bloods done yet, due to the Medlab being closed. They will have to wait until Tuesday. I am also seeing the specialist on Tuesday to talk about our next course of action. It was lucky they had a cancellation so we could see him so soon. And my very kind boss has given me Tuesday off too so I am half way through an extra long weekend.
So there is no doubt that I am not pregnant. I bought a pee test today and it came back as negative. So I decided I would have a wine while my hubby is out working until 1 am with a bustrip..
I will report back after the visit with the specialist.
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